Judd Apatow is sharing some of the expletive-ridden notes that his eldest daughter, Maudewould leave him and his wife, Leslie Mannin her younger years.
The This Is 40 and Knocked Up director has revealed that Maude used to sprinkle nasty letters around their home for him and Mann whenever she was angry with them.
“When we would get into a fight or she was mad at us, one way she dealt with not just yelling at us is she would write mean things on a notepad and just leave them around the house,” Apatow explained on Wednesday’s episode of Late Night With Seth Meyers.
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To prove Apatow’s point, host Seth Meyers held up one of Maude’s notes, which featured a doodle of three people with what appears to be the words “f— you, bitch-headed bitches” scrawled above them. One of the individuals can be seen crying “whaa” in response.
Apatow quickly explained the drawing. “Me, Leslie, and I think that’s [Maude’s younger sister] Iris going, ‘Whaa,'” he said, pointing at the three people in the note. “She’s angry at a baby.”
And yet, Meyers noted, that curse-filled letter was only the tip of the iceberg. “You would think this is really bad,” he prefaced, “and by the way, I would never be happy if my kids called me [bleep]-headed bitches… This is weirdly worse when she uses your full name.”
The host then showcased another note, which featured a much more direct insult: “F— you, Judd Apatow.”
Meyers added, “She doesn’t even want to risk that you think it might be a different Judd.”
But that wasn’t even the funniest part of the message, according to Apatow.
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“You’re holding it the wrong way. That’s an executioner who just cut my head off,” he said, pointing to a person with what appeared to be a scythe floating above them and a nearby head.
“I was trying to do her a solid,” Meyers said as he reoriented the note. “This is like, ‘Oh dear.'”
After taking a second look, Apatow amended his remarks. “Oh, wait! I just realized, no, no, I got it wrong. That’s not the executioner — that’s me without a head.”
Meyers saw Maude’s vision a second later. “Oh yeah, you’re right,” he agreed.
As it turns out, Apatow has a propensity for sending spicy notes, too. Later in the interview, he recalled his experience writing an executive who had canceled his critically acclaimed series Undeclared and attaching the letter to a framed picture of the show landing on Entertainment Weekly’s year-end best-of list.
“The person that canceled it had previously, years before, canceled another show that I worked on, which was The Ben Stiller Show,” he said. “We were told, like, ‘Come back and we won’t cancel you so fast,’ and then I came back and they canceled us really fast.”
Meyers then read Apatow’s scathing message to the executive aloud for the audience. “I don’t know if you just f—ed me in the ass again, or you just never took it out in 1992.”
Reacting to the note, Apatow simply said, “You know, when you’re a kid, you’re very passionate.”
Watch Apatow reflect on his family’s naughty notes in the clip above.
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